2 Samuel 13:20 – “Her brother Absalom said to her, ‘Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.’ And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.”
Extended Explanation
In this verse, Absalom, Tamar’s brother, becomes aware of the assault that Tamar endured at the hands of their half-brother, Amnon. His words to her, though seemingly intended to provide comfort, reveal a complex response. Absalom immediately suspects what has happened and tells Tamar to be quiet for the moment, suggesting that because Amnon is her brother, the situation is too delicate to deal with openly at that time. The phrase “Don’t take this thing to heart” may seem like an attempt to console Tamar, but it could also reflect a desire to suppress the scandal within the family. Despite his words, the verse ends with Tamar living in Absalom’s house as a “desolate woman,” indicating that she was emotionally broken and socially isolated after the violation.
Historical Context
In ancient Israel, family honor and reputation were highly valued, and situations like Tamar’s assault could bring significant shame to a family. Absalom’s initial response may have been influenced by the cultural pressures to maintain family honor, which might explain why he tells Tamar to be quiet and not to take the matter to heart. However, Absalom’s silence does not mean he intends to ignore the injustice. As the story continues, it becomes clear that Absalom harbors a deep anger toward Amnon and eventually seeks revenge for his sister’s violation. Tamar’s desolation, however, reflects the grim reality for women in that society who experienced sexual violence—often left without recourse, they were socially isolated and emotionally devastated.
Theological Implications
This verse highlights the complex nature of human responses to injustice. While Absalom’s words seem aimed at comforting Tamar, they also reflect the challenges of dealing with family sin in a broken world. Theologically, this passage points to the need for true justice and restoration, which were missing in this situation. Tamar’s status as a “desolate woman” reflects the devastating consequences of sin—both Amnon’s violation and the broader family’s failure to address it properly. In the broader biblical narrative, God’s desire is for justice, healing, and protection of the vulnerable, which contrasts with the tragic lack of resolution for Tamar in this story.
Literary Analysis
The narrative structure of this verse creates a sense of tension. Absalom’s response, though seemingly calm, foreshadows the anger and revenge that will follow later in the story. His advice to Tamar to “be quiet” and not dwell on the incident seems incongruous with the depth of Tamar’s pain, reflected in her eventual desolate state. The choice of the word “desolate” carries significant weight, indicating that Tamar was left emotionally barren and socially cut off. The verse captures the unresolved emotional trauma that lingers after the assault, setting the stage for future conflict within David’s family.
Biblical Cross-References
- Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This verse reflects God’s heart for those who, like Tamar, are brokenhearted and desolate.
- Deuteronomy 10:18: “He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.” Though Tamar is not literally fatherless or a widow, this verse reflects God’s care for the vulnerable and oppressed.
- Romans 12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” This verse speaks to the idea that justice ultimately belongs to God, contrasting with Absalom’s eventual plan for revenge.
What This Verse Means for Today’s Christian
For today’s Christian, this verse highlights the importance of addressing injustice, even when it involves family or sensitive situations. Absalom’s response to Tamar, while seemingly protective, ultimately leaves her isolated and without the emotional support she needs. This calls Christians to consider how they respond to the suffering of others, especially in situations involving injustice or abuse. The verse also serves as a reminder that silence or avoidance of wrongdoing does not bring healing. Christians are called to seek justice, comfort the brokenhearted, and provide a safe space for those who have been hurt.
How This Verse Relates to a Loving God
God’s love is characterized by compassion, justice, and healing. While Tamar’s family, particularly Absalom, failed to fully address her pain and seek justice for her immediately, God’s love never abandons the brokenhearted. God is always near to those who are suffering, offering comfort and healing where others may fail. The “desolation” Tamar experiences is a reflection of human failure, not God’s intention for her or anyone else who suffers. God desires to bring restoration and wholeness to those who are hurting, offering refuge and healing in His presence.
How This Verse Connects to Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ came to bring healing and restoration to those who are broken and cast aside. In contrast to Absalom’s response, Jesus offers true comfort, justice, and healing to those who have been wounded by the sins of others. Throughout His ministry, Jesus reached out to those who were hurting and oppressed, offering them hope and restoration. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Tamar’s desolation is a reminder of the deep pain that sin causes, but Jesus provides the ultimate answer to that pain through His sacrificial love and His promise of healing for the brokenhearted.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
- How can we offer true comfort and support to those who have experienced injustice, rather than minimizing their pain?
- In what ways does Tamar’s story challenge us to respond to the suffering of others with compassion and action?
- How does Jesus’ promise of rest and healing for the weary encourage us to bring our own pain, as well as the pain of others, to Him?
- What steps can we take to ensure that justice is pursued in situations where people have been hurt or wronged, especially within our families or communities?