3 John 1:9 — I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us.
Extended Explanation
In this verse, John starts to address a problem. He had written a letter to the church, but a man named Diotrephes rejected it — and rejected John himself. This wasn’t just a personal disagreement. Diotrephes was acting with pride and selfishness. He wanted to be in charge. He refused to receive fellow believers, and he pushed away anyone who didn’t agree with him.
John calls out Diotrephes for loving “to be first.” That’s the heart of the issue. Diotrephes wasn’t leading with humility; he wanted control, attention, and authority. He wasn’t welcoming John — an apostle who had walked with Jesus — and by doing that, he was rejecting the truth.
This verse shows that even in the early church, there were power struggles and pride issues. But John isn’t afraid to speak the truth. He’s pointing out the problem so that it can be corrected and the church can be protected.
Historical Context
The letter of 3 John was written near the end of the first century. By that time, the church had grown, but not without challenges. Some local leaders began using their influence for selfish gain instead of servant leadership. Diotrephes appears to be one of these men.
Churches were still meeting in homes, and letters from apostles like John helped guide them. When someone like Diotrephes rejected these letters, he was cutting off the church from true spiritual leadership. That’s a serious issue, and John is calling it out.
Theological Implications
This verse shows that pride and control are dangerous in the life of a church. The church is meant to be led by humility, truth, and love — not by people who want to put themselves first.
It also reminds us that rejecting godly instruction is a serious matter. Diotrephes didn’t just reject John the man — he rejected the truth John carried. That tells us we need to stay open and humble when God speaks through His Word or His people.
Literary Analysis
John’s language here is direct. He doesn’t sugarcoat the problem. The phrase “who loves to be first” is a sharp warning — it captures the heart attitude behind Diotrephes‘ actions.
The contrast between Gaius (faithful, loving, humble) and Diotrephes (proud, controlling, unwelcoming) sets up a clear message about what kind of behavior is pleasing to God — and what isn’t.
Cross-References
- Mark 9:35 — Jesus said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
- Philippians 2:3 — “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
- 3 John 1:5-8 — Gaius is praised for doing the opposite of what Diotrephes did.
- Proverbs 16:18 — “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
What This Verse Means for Today’s Christian
For believers today, this verse is a warning and a call to humility. Pride can creep in easily — even in church leadership or ministry. Wanting to “be first” might look like needing control, refusing correction, or pushing others aside. That spirit doesn’t come from God.
This verse also reminds us to test leadership by the standard of truth, not personality. Just because someone is in charge doesn’t mean they’re right. Faithful Christians must stay rooted in the truth and willing to speak up when something’s not right — just like John did.
How This Verse Relates to a Loving God
God’s love is not controlling or self-centered. He leads through grace, truth, and humility. This verse shows that God loves His church too much to let pride and power take over without correction.
When leaders like Diotrephes act selfishly, God raises up voices like John’s to protect the people He loves.
How This Verse Connects to Jesus Christ
Jesus gave us the perfect example of humility. In John 13, He washed His disciples’ feet — the job of a servant — even though He was their Lord. He said, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.”
Jesus never loved to be “first” in the way Diotrephes did. Instead, He laid down His rights to serve others — even to the point of dying on a cross (Philippians 2:5-8). If we claim to follow Jesus, we must follow that same path of humble service, not selfish ambition.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
- In what areas of life are you tempted to “be first” instead of serving others?
- How can you model humility in your relationships, leadership, or ministry?
- What warning does Diotrephes’ example give about pride in the church?
- Are there times when you’ve rejected correction or godly instruction? Why?
- How can you encourage and support leaders who lead with truth and humility?