Colossians 3:18 – “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Extended Explanation

This verse is part of Paul’s instructions for Christian households, which continue in the following verses. He addresses different family relationships-wives and husbands, children and parents, servants and masters.

In this verse, Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands, but it is important to understand what this means in the biblical context.

• “Submit” does not mean inferiority – Submission is about order and role, not worth. The Bible teaches that men and women are equally valuable in God’s eyes (Galatians 3:28), but they have different roles in marriage.
• “As is fitting in the Lord” – This phrase is crucial. Submission is not about blind obedience or allowing abuse. It is about honoring God’s design for marriage. A wife submits as an act of faith and obedience to God, not because her husband is superior.
• Submission reflects Christ’s humility – Jesus Himself submitted to the Father (Philippians 2:5-8). Biblical submission is a willing choice to support and respect a husband’s leadership.

This verse does not stand alone-it must be read in context with verse 19, which commands husbands to love their wives selflessly. A godly marriage is not about power but about mutual love, respect, and service.

Historical Context

In the Roman world, women had very few rights. Husbands had nearly total authority over their wives, and women were often treated as property rather than partners.

However, Christianity radically changed how women were viewed. While society treated women as second-class citizens, the Bible gave them dignity and equal spiritual worth. Paul’s teaching here is not meant to oppress women but to establish a godly order within the home, where both husband and wife honor Christ.

Many pagan households were filled with dominance and oppression, but Christian marriages were to be different. Wives were called to respect their husbands, and husbands were called to love their wives sacrificially (Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 5:25).

Theological Implications

This verse teaches several important biblical principles about marriage:

1. Marriage reflects Christ and the Church – Just as the Church submits to Christ, a wife is called to submit to her husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24).
2. Submission is about order, not inequality – Husbands and wives are equal before God, but they have different roles (Genesis 2:18).
3. Biblical submission is voluntary – A wife is called to submit willingly, not forced to obey.
4. Submission is within the boundaries of the Lord – A wife is never called to submit to sinful or abusive behavior. Her ultimate allegiance is to God.

Literary Analysis

Paul’s word choice is important:

• “Submit” (Greek: hypotassō) – This word means to arrange under or to willingly place oneself under authority. It is not about being dominated but about choosing to follow God’s order for marriage.
• “As is fitting in the Lord” – This phrase shows that submission is not cultural, but spiritual. It is based on God’s design, not just human tradition.

This verse must be read in context with the next verse, where husbands are commanded to love their wives. Paul is not saying that wives are less valuable-he is teaching how marriage should function in a way that honors Christ.

Biblical Cross-References

• Ephesians 5:22-24 – “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
• Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
• Genesis 2:18 – “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
• 1 Peter 3:1 – “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
• Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

What This Verse Means for Today’s Christian

In today’s world, the idea of submission is often misunderstood. Many people see it as weakness or oppression, but biblical submission is an act of faith and love.

For Christian wives today, this verse teaches:

• Submission is a choice – It is not forced but offered willingly as part of honoring God’s design for marriage.
• Submission is based on trust in God – Even if a husband is imperfect (which he is), a wife can trust that God is in control.
• Submission does not mean silence – A wife’s voice, wisdom, and influence are important. A godly marriage involves partnership and communication.
• Submission is within the Lord’s boundaries – A wife is never expected to submit to sin, abuse, or ungodly behavior. Her first loyalty is always to God.

For husbands, this verse is not an excuse to demand control. Instead, it sets the stage for the next command-that husbands must love their wives sacrificially.

How This Verse Relates to a Loving God

God’s love is at the center of biblical marriage. He designed marriage to reflect His relationship with His people.

• God is a God of order – Just as He created the world with structure, He designed marriage with roles that complement each other (1 Corinthians 11:3).
• God calls for love and respect in marriage – He wants wives to be cherished and husbands to lead with humility.
• God values both men and women equally – Submission is not about worth but about function and purpose in the marriage relationship.

How This Verse Connects to Jesus Christ

Jesus is the ultimate model of submission.

• Jesus submitted to the Father – “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
• Jesus led with love – He did not dominate or demand but served and sacrificed for His people.
• Marriage reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church – The Church follows Christ’s leadership, and Christ loves the Church sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25).

A Christian marriage should reflect Christ’s love and humility-where the wife submits with trust, and the husband leads with love.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

1. How does biblical submission differ from the way the world views submission?
2. What does “as is fitting in the Lord” teach us about the boundaries of submission?
3. For wives: How can you honor and support your husband’s leadership while still using your gifts and wisdom?
4. For husbands: How can you lead in a way that reflects Christ’s love for the Church?
5. How does Jesus’ example of submission to the Father help us understand this verse?

This verse is often misunderstood, but when properly applied, it leads to a marriage full of love, respect, and unity. May Christian marriages reflect the beauty of Christ’s relationship with His Church, where wives support their husbands with trust, and husbands love their wives with sacrificial care.