Colossians 3:20 – “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Extended Explanation

This verse is a direct instruction to children about how they should treat their parents. Paul tells them to obey their parents in everything because it is pleasing to God.

• “Children” – This command applies to those still under their parents’ authority. As long as children live at home and depend on their parents, they are expected to obey.
• “Obey your parents in everything” – This means children should listen to, respect, and follow their parents’ instructions in all areas of life. However, this is not a command to obey if parents ask them to sin (Acts 5:29).
• “For this pleases the Lord” – Obedience is not just about keeping peace in the home; it is about honoring God. When children obey their parents, they are obeying God’s design for the family.

Paul teaches that obedience is an act of faith. Even when children don’t understand or agree, trusting their parents’ guidance pleases God and leads to blessing.

Historical Context

In first-century Roman culture, families were structured with strong parental authority. Fathers had absolute control over their children, even deciding their future marriages, careers, or education.

However, in the Jewish tradition, children were taught that honoring parents was a command from God (Exodus 20:12). The Law emphasized respect, obedience, and lifelong care for parents.

Paul’s teaching here reinforces God’s design for family relationships. Unlike Roman society, where fathers could be harsh and domineering, Paul emphasizes that obedience should be part of a loving, Christ-centered home.

Theological Implications

This verse highlights several biblical principles:

1. Obedience is part of God’s order for the family.
   • Parents have God-given authority to teach and guide their children (Proverbs 22:6).
2. Children’s obedience reflects their relationship with God.
   • Learning to obey parents helps children learn to obey God (Ephesians 6:1).
3. God blesses those who honor their parents.
   • The command to honor parents comes with a promise-it leads to a blessed life (Exodus 20:12).
4. Parental authority should reflect God’s love.
   • While children are commanded to obey, parents should not be abusive or harsh (Colossians 3:21).

Literary Analysis

Paul’s words here are short and straightforward.

• “Children, obey” – This is a direct command. It is not conditional on whether the child feels like it.
• “In everything” – Paul emphasizes that obedience should be a consistent habit, not just when it’s convenient.
• “For this pleases the Lord” – This shows that obedience is not just about family harmony, but about pleasing God.

Paul balances this instruction by following it with Colossians 3:21, where he warns fathers not to provoke their children. Obedience should happen within a loving, God-honoring family structure.

Biblical Cross-References

• Ephesians 6:1-3 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’-which is the first commandment with a promise-‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’”
• Exodus 20:12 – “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
• Proverbs 1:8-9 – “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.”
• Luke 2:51 – “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.”
• Proverbs 6:20 – “My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”

What This Verse Means for Today’s Christian

This verse still applies today. Even though modern culture promotes independence and rebellion, God’s design remains the same.

For children:

• Obedience is an act of faith. Even when they don’t understand, trusting their parents reflects trust in God.
• Respecting parents prepares them for life. Learning to obey teaches discipline, responsibility, and humility.
• God rewards obedience. When children honor their parents, they experience God’s blessing.

For parents:

• This verse reminds them of their responsibility. Parents are called to lead their children in God’s ways, not just enforce rules.
• Discipline should be fair and loving. Parents must guide their children without discouraging them (Colossians 3:21).

How This Verse Relates to a Loving God

God’s love is reflected in His design for the family.

• God is a Father who loves and disciplines His children.
  • Hebrews 12:6 – “The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
• Obedience brings blessing.
  • Just as God calls us to obey Him, He promises blessing to those who follow His ways (Deuteronomy 5:16).
• God cares about order and harmony.
  • Families thrive when love, respect, and obedience are present.

This verse reminds us that God’s commands are given for our good, not just for rules. He wants families to flourish in love and obedience.

How This Verse Connects to Jesus Christ

Jesus is the perfect example of obedience.

1. Jesus obeyed His earthly parents.
   • Luke 2:51 – Even though Jesus was God’s Son, He obeyed Mary and Joseph.
2. Jesus submitted to His heavenly Father.
   • Philippians 2:8 – “He humbled himself by becoming obedient to death-even death on a cross!”
3. Jesus teaches us obedience through His example.
   • John 14:15 – “If you love me, keep my commands.”

If Jesus Himself obeyed both His earthly and heavenly Father, then children today are called to follow His example.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

1. For children: Do you obey your parents willingly, or do you resist their guidance?
2. For parents: How do you balance authority with love in raising your children?
3. How does obedience to parents prepare a person for obedience to God?
4. What are the rewards of honoring and obeying parents, both spiritually and practically?
5. How can families work together to create an atmosphere of love, respect, and obedience?

This verse is a reminder that God cares about family relationships. Children who obey with respect and love bring joy to their parents and honor to God. Parents who lead with wisdom and kindness raise children who reflect Christ’s obedience. May families today seek to live in the harmony that pleases the Lord.