Luke 14:20 – “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’”
Extended Explanation
In this verse, Jesus presents the third excuse given by an invited guest who declines the host’s invitation to the great banquet. This guest says that he has just gotten married, and therefore, he cannot attend. While marriage is a significant life event, it becomes an excuse to reject the invitation, symbolizing how personal commitments and relationships can sometimes take precedence over responding to God’s call.
The man’s excuse might seem understandable, but it demonstrates misplaced priorities. Instead of seeing the banquet as a valuable opportunity, he treats it as less important than his personal life. Jesus is teaching that even good things—such as marriage, family, and relationships—can become obstacles when they are valued more than our relationship with God.
Historical Context
In ancient Jewish culture, marriage was highly valued, and newly married men were given certain social allowances. According to the Law of Moses, a man who had recently married was exempt from military service for one year so that he could focus on building his home and enjoying life with his wife (Deuteronomy 24:5). The cultural expectation was that marriage was a top priority, and this man’s excuse reflects that mindset.
However, even within this context, rejecting an invitation to a banquet—especially one that had already been accepted—would have been considered rude and dishonorable. The fact that the man doesn’t offer to attend the banquet later or find a way to balance his commitments shows that he doesn’t view the invitation as significant. Jesus uses this to illustrate how easily people can allow personal commitments to interfere with their spiritual priorities.
Theological Implications
This verse highlights an important spiritual truth: even good and legitimate commitments can become obstacles if they take priority over our relationship with God. Marriage, family, work, and other responsibilities are all important, but they should never come before responding to God’s call. Jesus teaches that following Him requires us to put God first, even above the most meaningful aspects of our lives (Luke 14:26).
Theologically, this verse reminds us of the cost of discipleship. While God calls us to love and care for our families, we are also called to seek Him above all else. When personal commitments, no matter how good they are, prevent us from accepting God’s invitation, they become spiritual hindrances. This is a warning to guard against letting even the blessings of life distract us from God’s purposes.
Literary Analysis
The structure of this parable highlights the progression of excuses, each one representing a different aspect of life that can become a spiritual distraction. The first excuse involves property (the man who bought a field), the second involves work (the man who bought oxen), and the third involves personal relationships (the man who just got married). Together, these excuses cover a broad range of distractions that people face.
The brief and final nature of this excuse—“I just got married, so I can’t come”—reveals a sense of finality. The man doesn’t say, “I’ll come later” or offer any compromise. His response is absolute, indicating that his new marriage has completely taken precedence over the invitation. This emphasizes the danger of making even good things an excuse to neglect spiritual priorities.
Relevant Biblical Cross-References
- Deuteronomy 24:5 – Newly married men were exempt from certain obligations to focus on their families, reflecting the cultural background of the excuse.
- Luke 14:26 – Jesus teaches that anyone who follows Him must love Him more than family or any other relationship.
- Matthew 10:37 – “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
- 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 – Paul warns believers not to let even family obligations distract them from living for the Lord because time is short.
What This Verse Means for Today’s Christian
For Christians today, this verse challenges us to examine our priorities. Are we allowing personal commitments—whether it’s family, relationships, or other obligations—to come before God? Marriage and family are good and God-given responsibilities, but when they become excuses to neglect our spiritual lives, they can harm our relationship with God.
This verse reminds us that following Christ often requires making difficult choices. We are called to love our families, but that love should flow out of our primary relationship with God. If we put family, work, or personal interests above God, we risk missing out on the blessings of His kingdom. Jesus isn’t saying that marriage or family is bad, but that they should never take God’s place as the top priority in our lives.
How This Verse Relates to a Loving God
God’s love is shown in the fact that He invites us to share in His blessings and fellowship. The banquet is a symbol of His abundant grace, and He desires for everyone to experience it. However, God’s love also respects our free will—He doesn’t force anyone to accept His invitation. Those who prioritize other things over Him miss out, not because God is unwilling to bless them, but because they have chosen something else.
God’s love calls us to put Him first because He knows that only He can truly satisfy us. Family, work, and possessions can bring temporary joy, but only God can offer the eternal fulfillment that comes from a relationship with Him. His love is patient, but it also demands that we take His call seriously.
How This Verse Connects to Jesus Christ
Jesus is the one who extends God’s invitation to the banquet of salvation. Through His life, death, and resurrection, He invites us to experience forgiveness, grace, and eternal life. However, just like the guests in the parable, many people make excuses for not responding to Jesus’ call.
In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” The banquet symbolizes the rest and joy that Jesus offers to those who respond to His call. But if we prioritize other commitments—no matter how important they seem—we miss the opportunity to experience the blessings He provides. Jesus’ teaching challenges us to make Him the center of our lives, trusting that everything else will fall into place when we seek Him first (Matthew 6:33).
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
- Are there any personal commitments or relationships that are keeping you from fully responding to God’s call?
- How can you balance your responsibilities to family and work while still making God your top priority?
- What does this parable teach you about the importance of responding to God’s invitation without delay?
- How can you ensure that even good things in your life, like family and work, don’t become spiritual obstacles?
- In what ways can you encourage others to prioritize their relationship with God over the distractions of daily life?
This verse is a reminder that God’s invitation is open, but we must be willing to put Him first. Don’t let personal commitments or life’s blessings become excuses that keep you from experiencing the joy and fulfillment of God’s kingdom. Respond to His call with faith and trust, knowing that everything else will be taken care of when you prioritize Him.