Proverbs 28:23 – “Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.”
Extended Explanation of the Verse
This proverb highlights the value of giving honest correction over offering insincere flattery. It teaches that while it may be uncomfortable to confront someone about their wrongdoing, in the long run, speaking the truth with love will be more appreciated than flattering someone to avoid conflict.
At first, people might not appreciate being corrected, and they may even react negatively. But over time, they will often come to see the benefit of that honest feedback, especially if it helps them grow or avoid making further mistakes. In contrast, flattery might win quick approval, but it is shallow and unhelpful in the long term. Flattery often hides the truth and can lead someone into greater trouble because it does not address the root issues.
Historical Context
In the culture of ancient Israel, truthfulness and integrity were highly valued. Leaders, prophets, and wise individuals were expected to speak the truth, even if it was uncomfortable. The prophets, for example, were often tasked with delivering hard messages to the people or their leaders. They were not popular, but their messages were given out of obedience to God and concern for the well-being of the nation.
In contrast, false prophets who only told people what they wanted to hear were condemned because their flattering words led people astray. The Israelites were reminded that it is better to receive honest rebuke that leads to repentance than to be comforted by lies that lead to destruction.
Theological Implications
This verse reflects the biblical principle that truth, even when it’s hard to hear, is ultimately beneficial. God values honesty because it brings light into our lives and helps us grow. Being willing to give or receive correction is a sign of maturity and humility. God often uses the loving correction of others to shape us and bring us closer to His will.
Theologically, this proverb also warns against the dangers of flattery. Flattery is essentially a form of deceit because it focuses on pleasing others rather than helping them grow. God desires that we speak the truth in love, aiming for the good of the other person rather than seeking our own comfort or approval.
Literary Analysis
Proverbs 28:23 uses contrast to drive its message home. The first part of the verse talks about rebuking someone, which involves confronting them with the truth. The second part contrasts this with having “a flattering tongue,” which implies saying things that are pleasant but not necessarily true. The phrase “in the end” is important because it suggests that while rebuke might not be appreciated immediately, it will eventually be seen as valuable.
The structure of this proverb is straightforward, yet it packs a powerful message. It challenges readers to consider the long-term impact of their words. While it may be tempting to say what people want to hear, true love involves speaking the truth, even when it’s hard.
Relevant Biblical Cross-References
Here are other Scriptures that align with the themes of Proverbs 28:23:
- Proverbs 27:6 – “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” This shows that true friends are willing to speak the truth, even if it’s painful.
- Ephesians 4:15 – “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” This emphasizes that truth spoken in love helps us grow.
- James 5:19-20 – “Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” This highlights the importance of correcting others out of love.
What This Verse Means for Today’s Christian
For Christians today, Proverbs 28:23 challenges us to prioritize truth over comfort. In our relationships—whether with family, friends, or colleagues—we are called to lovingly correct one another when needed. This doesn’t mean being harsh or judgmental, but rather having the courage to speak up when someone is going down a harmful path.
It also encourages us to examine whether we are more interested in pleasing others than in helping them grow. Flattery may win short-term approval, but it does nothing to help someone become a better person. As followers of Christ, we are called to be salt and light, which includes being willing to speak the truth, even when it’s hard.
How This Verse Relates to a Loving God
God’s love is seen in the way He corrects us for our own good. Just as a loving parent disciplines their child, God lovingly corrects us to protect us from harm and guide us toward a better path. His rebuke is not to condemn us, but to draw us closer to Him. Hebrews 12:6 reminds us, “The Lord disciplines those He loves.”
God’s love is also evident in how He uses others to speak truth into our lives. When someone takes the time to correct us, it’s often a sign that they care enough about us to help us grow. God calls us to reflect His love by speaking the truth to others, even when it’s uncomfortable.
How This Verse Connects to Jesus Christ
Jesus consistently spoke the truth, even when it was difficult. He corrected the Pharisees, challenged His disciples, and called people to repentance. In John 8:31-32, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Jesus understood that real freedom and growth come from embracing the truth.
Jesus also modeled the balance of speaking truth with love. He was never afraid to correct someone, but He did so with the goal of bringing them closer to God. As His followers, we are called to emulate this balance, lovingly correcting others with a heart that seeks their good.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
- Are there people in my life whom I need to lovingly correct, even if it’s uncomfortable?
- How can I be open to receiving correction from others without becoming defensive?
- In what ways am I tempted to use flattery to avoid conflict or gain approval?
- How can I follow Jesus’ example of speaking truth in love in my relationships?
- What can I do to cultivate a heart that values truth over comfort, both in myself and in how I relate to others?
Proverbs 28:23 challenges us to value honesty and integrity in our relationships. It encourages us to be willing to speak the truth, even when it’s difficult, and reminds us that genuine love sometimes requires uncomfortable conversations. By following Jesus’ example, we can learn to speak the truth with compassion, ultimately helping others grow and experience God’s best for their lives.