Divorce is a complex and sensitive topic that affects many people in profound ways. The Bible addresses divorce with both clarity and compassion, offering guidance on the sanctity of marriage, the grounds for divorce, and the importance of reconciliation. Understanding what the Bible says about divorce requires examining the Scriptures in both the Old and New Testaments, as well as considering the broader biblical themes of covenant, forgiveness, and God’s design for relationships.
The Sanctity of Marriage
God’s Original Design
The Bible begins with the creation of marriage in the book of Genesis, where God establishes marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. This relationship is intended to be a reflection of God’s own faithful and enduring love.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV):
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
This verse highlights the intended permanence of marriage, with the union of husband and wife being described as “one flesh.” This unity is not just physical but also emotional, spiritual, and covenantal.
Marriage as a Covenant
Throughout the Bible, marriage is consistently portrayed as a covenant relationship, which is a solemn and binding agreement that reflects God’s covenant with His people. Breaking this covenant is seen as a serious matter.
Malachi 2:14-16 (NIV):
“The Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant… ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the Lord Almighty.”
In this passage, God expresses His displeasure with divorce, describing it as an act of violence against the covenant of marriage. The strong language used here underscores the seriousness with which God views the breaking of this sacred bond.
Grounds for Divorce in the Bible
Old Testament Law
In the Old Testament, the Mosaic Law does provide allowances for divorce, but it is clear that these allowances are given because of human hardness of heart and not because divorce aligns with God’s original design for marriage.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (NIV):
“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord.”
This passage from Deuteronomy regulates divorce by requiring a certificate of divorce, which was meant to protect the rights of the woman. However, it also highlights the complexities and consequences of divorce.
Jesus’ Teaching on Divorce
In the New Testament, Jesus addresses the issue of divorce directly, reaffirming the sanctity of marriage and clarifying the grounds for divorce.
Matthew 19:3-6 (NIV):
“Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’ ‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'”
In this passage, Jesus emphasizes the permanence of marriage, stating that it was not God’s intention for marriages to be dissolved. He points back to God’s original design for marriage as a lifelong union.
Matthew 19:8-9 (NIV):
“Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.'”
Jesus acknowledges that divorce was allowed under the Mosaic Law due to the hardness of human hearts, but He limits the grounds for divorce to cases of sexual immorality. This teaching underscores the gravity of marriage and the limited circumstances under which divorce is permitted.
The Apostle Paul’s Teaching
The Apostle Paul also addresses divorce, particularly in situations where a believer is married to an unbeliever.
1 Corinthians 7:12-15 (NIV):
“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him… But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
Paul advises that if an unbelieving spouse is willing to stay in the marriage, the believing spouse should not seek a divorce. However, if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, the believer is not bound to the marriage.
The Importance of Reconciliation
God’s Desire for Reconciliation
While the Bible acknowledges the reality of divorce, it also emphasizes God’s desire for reconciliation. Reconciliation is a central theme in the Christian faith, reflecting God’s work of reconciling humanity to Himself through Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19 (NIV):
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”
In the context of marriage, this principle encourages couples to seek reconciliation and restoration whenever possible, rather than pursuing divorce.
The Role of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a key component of reconciliation. In marriage, forgiveness can play a crucial role in healing and restoring relationships that have been damaged by sin or conflict.
Ephesians 4:32 (NIV):
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
This verse calls believers to extend the same forgiveness to others that they have received from Christ, including within the context of marriage.
Compassion for Those Affected by Divorce
Understanding and Support
While the Bible holds marriage in high regard, it also acknowledges the pain and complexity of divorce. The church is called to approach those affected by divorce with compassion, understanding, and support.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV):
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
This verse offers comfort, reminding those who are suffering that God is near to them in their pain and offers healing and hope.
Healing and Restoration
For those who have experienced divorce, the Bible offers hope for healing and restoration. God’s grace is sufficient to bring healing to the wounds caused by broken relationships, and His love provides a foundation for moving forward in faith.
Joel 2:25 (NIV):
“‘I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you.'”
This verse speaks to God’s ability to restore what has been lost, offering hope to those who have experienced the devastation of divorce.
Conclusion
The Bible presents a high view of marriage as a sacred covenant intended to be lifelong and reflective of God’s faithful love. While divorce is acknowledged in Scripture, it is seen as a departure from God’s original design, permitted only under certain circumstances, such as sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. Despite the reality of divorce, the Bible encourages reconciliation, forgiveness, and the pursuit of healing and restoration. For those who have experienced divorce, the message of the Bible is one of compassion, grace, and the possibility of new beginnings in Christ.